The minister for communications or a reasonable facsimile thereof, Malcolm Turnbull, announced at a press conference today that the government will be changing the official name of the NBN.

“With all the changes we have made to what was obviously a badly thought out and poorly researched system we have decided that to continue to keep calling it the NBN would be disingenuous,” said Mr Turnbull. “So in that vein we have changed the name from the National Broadband Network to the Future Utilisation of Broadband Accelerated Resources.”

As an example of the technology now available the press conference was televised and streamed live over the Internet were it was watched by one Mrs Beryl Athol of Moonie Ponds. On the completion of press conference Mrs Athol remarked, “I have no idea what that badly pixelated blob was saying”.