The Federal Government announced today more cuts to the budget. “We need to get the on again / off again budget emergency under control,” said one government backbencher. “Yes we’re committed to expanding government funding for the military, but that’s all to buy new shiny toys like Strike Fighters and Submarines. We just don’t have the funds to pay the people that use them, so instead we’ll be charging staff to use this expensive equipment.”
We asked how exactly this was going to work.
“Well it’s like this. When a pilot climbs into a new Strike Fighter he will need to swipe his credit card before the plane will start. He will also need to pay for any ammunition he uses so that will be another swipe of the card before they can be fired. We expect this will help raise desperately needed funds to pay our brave men and women that serve our country.”