The Australian government announced today that all future funding for the ABC will have to be crowd sourced.
“We’re sick and tired of the constant bias towards the truth shown by the ABC,” said one government backbencher. “If the ABC can’t play for Team Australia then they can get their own damn funding.”
CEO of the ABC, Mark Scott, said today that the ABC has already made inroads towards securing funding from elsewhere.
“We’ll be opening a Kickstarter campaign shortly,” said one ABC insider. “We figure if we can raise $5bn we should be right for a couple of years.”
Some of the Kickstarter pledge offers include:
- 8c a day pledge. Backer will receive a warm fuzzy feeling for doing something nice.
- $50: An argument with Emma Alberici.
- $100: 5 minutes gazing at Tony Jones.
- $1000: One episode of QandA that does not contain any politicians or members of public think tanks.
- $10,000: A morning spent running your fingers through Barrie Cassidy’s hair.
The ABC has also promised that if the amount of pledges exceeds their goal they will no longer broadcast any show that has Stephen Fry in it.