Scientist have announced the discovery of a new species. “It’s very close to Homo erectus, they could easily be mistaken for human,” said one visibly chuffed biologist. “In fact they have been living amongst us for years.

Head of biology at Sydney University, Professor Smores gave The Larrikin an insight into this discovery.

“The new species is known as Homo boganus and while they may look like us there are some significant differences. First of all is their diet, they exist almost exclusively on alcohol and fast food. This is the sort of diet that would kill an ordinary human yet they appear to thrive on it.”

“They also have rather distinctive plumage, a hairstyle similar to what we would call a ‘Mullet’ plus a propensity towards the wearing of flannel shirts. They also tend to have several tattoos, most of which have no real meaning that we can discern, they must be used in an effort to attract a mate.”

Homo boganus can often be identified just from their call, usually something like “Shazza!” or “Fark off!” as well as “Carn the Pies!”

“This new discovery is very exciting,” said Professor Smores. “Who knows what effect this will have on the future of the human race?”

Bogun, Pies, Science